6 years ago tonight, I was trying to sleep in my semi-private hospital room with Jesse snugged in his isolette. The lady next to me had a C-section and baby had bili problems and the nurse came in every hour or two and woke us up, but the lady kept her baby in bed with her. AT the time I thought it was so weird...

It was a Sunday and we were watching the Tour de France. Jamie wasn't at work because it was a holiday - July 4th. I was in our little kitchen doing the dishes and felt something trickling down my leg. I suspected, but wasn't sure - I headed to the bathroom to sit on the toliet and as it gushed out I realized I wasn't voiding and it was my water breaking. I was 37 weeks along.

I told Jamie and he ran about our little house like Dick Van Dyke - completely hysterical to me. I think the contractions started about 15 minutes later and within the hour they were 2 minutes apart and stayed that way until transition. We rushed to the hospital - sure the baby was crowning and found I was 1cm. I turned down an offer to participate in a program geared to prevent C-sections - you had to dialate 1cm/hour or you'd be put on pit. I was a sheeple then, but even so, I knew in my heart something was wrong with that program and I declined in disgust.

My nurse was 7 months pregnant and kept offering me drugs. At 4 cm (or so) I took a shot of Nubain. At (almost) 12 hours of labor I took another and it didn't do a thing.

Luckilly, I was laboring on a holiday and the OB I got was from a different practice. The nurses kept pushing drugs and finally convinced me to have an epidural. Fortunately, all I got was a prep - never got the epi, since once I got prepped I felt the need to push. Of course, I was then discouraged from pushing until they were ready for me.

The OB showed up with gloves and scrubs and that was it. She was human and did perinal massage with some oil. I had NO idea what she was doing.

I pushed for 45 minutes and thought he was NEVER coming out. I was SO discouraged. After having Pike, I realized that I never got that primal need/urge to push - where your body takes over. I learned so much from Jesse...

My mom and sister were in the room and Chrissy managed to get some wonderful pictures. Just tonight, at our family dinner/birthday party (we don't "do" birthday parties) she told me that she and Mom were huddled in a corner of the room, crying and I was pushing and all at once ordered her to get some pictures. I don't remember this at all.

He was handed to me immediately - I don't remember this, but there is a picture of him, cord still attached, just out of me, in the OB's hands, and my hands are reaching down for him. I was so out of it - I was just SO happy it was over.

He never left the isolette - no nursery in the hospital - except for sick babies, but I had to lie to the nurses so they wouldn't give him sugar water (since he wasn't nursing). Don't know why that occurred to me - just felt in my gut, I guess.

6 years ago today he had an intact foreskin. 6 years ago tomorrow, he did not. What a gut-wrenching realization that was tonight as I lay in bed nursing Caroline to sleep.

We had a lovely day today and he helped make his cake. It was carob with black raspberry filling (really easy to make) and whipped cream with honey on top (and some filling swirled in). We had tofu/veggie fry with polenta and veggieloaf for dinner.