I had thought I was in labor a few times before I turned 37 weeks, a lot of regular, sometimes painful contrax. I was sort of freaking out (just ask B, LOL) because I didn't want him to come before 37 weeks. I was HUGE and very uncomfortable. I was scheduled for an induction (for those of you who don't know, I was severely diabetic and my body was starting to freak out) My midwife knew that I was very unhappy about the induction but at this point felt like my health was a factor. Anyway, I went in to get started and was already at 4 cm, YAY! I was very happy about that. She put in the cervadil and the games began. I started feeling the contractions more but it wasn't really hurting, my friend who had just come from California showed up and I think that distracted me pretty well. An interesting thing about this, she was 21 weeks pregnant when I had Finn. I remember during my labor (she was there for the whole thing) looking at her belly and focusing on that. I don't know why, it just helped me so much, I would look at her and actually see a visual image of the baby inside her. So, we are talking and laughing. About 3 hours after they put the cervadil in it fell out while I was going to the bathroom. At this point, I got in the shower. I had been walking a lot, went outside for a long time, but was starting to feel uncomfortable. I asked Barb (midwife) to check me because I didn't want the cervadil back in. I was 7 cm. I couldn't believe it! I was laughing and joking between contractions. I had back labor pretty bad, I sat a lot on a rocking chair and arched my back as much as I could. That helped and also sitting on a birth ball at the end of the bed with counterpressure on my back. About an hour later, I was starting to get really uncomfortable, contractions were a lot closer. I realized in retrospect that I was in transition, started crying, not wanting to do this, etc.

Barb asked if I wanted her to break my water, I said yes. I am not sure if I would do this over, I am inclined to think not. At the time though, I really wanted to have the baby so I said yes. That is probably the one thing about my labor that I wasn't happy with. Anyway, she broke my water and contractions got a lot worse very quickly. I decided the shower again. Got in with Dh, and that helped. I was in quite a bit of pain at this point and starting to get impatient. I remember standing buck naked in the shower with my midwife, husband and nurse all standing outside looking at me and I yelled at them, "You are all FUCKING crazy, I am going home now." LOL, obviously transistion here. My dh was so great. He just kept gently whispering to me, you are doing it, you are so beautiful, you are doing wonderful. It really helped. I kept asking them to "help me" they asked my husband what I wanted help with and he told them, out of my earshot, "she wants drugs but she won't ask" LOL, which is true. It is hard in the hospital because you know they are right there and it would be soooooo easy to get "something". I only wanted them for about 20 minutes though. So, I start pushing in the shower, midwife is trying to check hearttones, she gets nothing. She asks ifI can get to the bed. She was very calm and collected and so I didn't freak out at all. Dh "danced" me to the bed. This was the magical part of my labor. For the space of about 2 minutes, I felt no pain. Dh had his arms around me and I melted into him, he slow danced me over to the bed. This will probably be one of the most special memories of my life. I remember just looking into his eyes and thinking, I am about to give birth to OUR baby! I got on the bed and the uncontrollable urge took over. I started pushing. It was really cool because between pushing I would almost fall asleep, I went into, well, a trance I guess. I couldn't feel anything or hear anything going on around me. I found out after that they had found his heartbeat but it was in the 60's. It stayed there. They put an oxygen mask on me but I didn't even notice. I do remember my midwife saying, Jamie, the baby needs to come out pretty soon. Tell your baby he needs to come out. I thought afterwards that it was way cool of her to say this, it didn't freak me out and I did talk to him and asked him to come out. This is when I felt him turn. He came out pretty quickly after that. I felt his WHOLE body come out, not just the head (like with Ciera). So, I look up and they put him on my belly. My first thought, my baby boy! He is so beautiful! He did fine breathing and such. I only pushed for 15 minutes. He stayed on me. They wanted to take him to the nursery because his blood sugar was 23 but I stood up for myself and said no, I will nurse him first. This took a lot because I am not too assertive usually with "medical" people. So, I nursed, he was fine. He never had a bath, never had eye ointment, never had shots, nothing. He never left my chest exept to go to Chuck and my mom. He weighted 9lbs. 7 oz. We went home 12 hours after birth.

I had one very small tear, midwife didn't stich. I was uncomfortable in my vaginal area for only about 5 hours, after that totally felt normal and fine!! My recovery was amazingly easy, I think because I didn't have drugs and it wasn't too long. I went in at 6pm and had the baby that same night at 2am. I have to say, this hospital is very progressive. They have birth balls in every room, everybody rooms in (no babies go to the nursery unless there is a problem), the are VERY pro breastfeeding. Pretty anti-circ. They never offered drugs and were very respectful of what I wanted. I made every decision about my care. I wanted to end this with this. I wanted a homebirth so badly. I cryed and cryed and cryed when I found out I wasn't going to have one. It took me a long time to get over that grief. It was a really loss to me. However, my hospital birth was very positive and very empowering. I did it, I birthed a 9 lb. baby (my first was 6 lbs so there was a 3 lb. difference, I also had an epi with her) with no drugs. I am still so in love with my son. I don't know if I will have any more children. If I do, I will again plan a homebirth. But I have learned from this experience that it isn't about "WHERE" you birth your baby, it is about YOU birthing your baby. If the mom is concious of her baby and herself, having a baby is MAGICAL, it doesn't matter where it is.