Before I begin I want to first tell you about this "feeling" I had throughout my pregnancy.

As some of you will know I was very sick with Chicken Pox at 12 weeks. Though the risk to the baby was small there still was a tangible risk & for obvious reasons the whole experience was very scary. Anyhow because of the CP I assumed the "feeling" I had was to do with that. Yet even as the CP became a memory, the "feeling" didn't. I had anxiety about this baby, something i couldn't quite "put my finger on". I worried about how he/she moved, how often & how much. In short i simply worried. I talked to P, my DH, a lot & we rationalized that my fears were the result of the stress of the CP. However the "feeling" wouldn't go away & I decided that I needed to acknowledge it.

I firmly believe that feelings need to be followed & fears acknowledged. This is not so as to obsess over them but to hopefully come to terms with them & learn & grow from them. So I began a nightly affirmation asking for guidance & the clearest answer/direction I got was to "Breathe deeply. Walk in trust & have faith" .I know this sounds pretty odd & quite honestly I didn't fully understand it either, but as I said to DH, this was the message I received, so I must act upon it.

So I added to my already nightly affirmation for a good birth & a healthy child, a labour that was oxygen rich too. This seemed appropriate & it definitely gave me some peace. However I do have to say that I carried a low-level worry with me for this entire pregnancy (as some of you reading this would remember). One thing that really helped was the discovery at about 35weeks that my DH could hear our baby's heartbeat through my tummy & i found this very re-assuring.

But to the birthstory (the relevance of the above to be revealed later!).

At around 3pm on day two of my 39nd week I noticed that my BH's were coming regularly & had been for some hours. However as they were still very much BH & completely painless I gave them little thought. One thing I did notice though was that moving around & changing activities did nothing to abate them. At about 4.30pm I had the urge to poop (quite unlike me considering the time of day!...though I'm sure you could probably do without such intimate details of my bowels habits!! *LOL*), anyway it was then that the 1st fleeting thoughts that maybe this was labour crossed my mind. My suspicions were confirmed as when I wiped I noticed that a large part of my plug had come away. That glorious wash of excitement spread over me.....oh!,there really is no feeling like it!!!. To know that you will soon meet your baby!.....wow!!. Emerging from the bathroom I told DH that I'd lost my plug & we decided that though my ctrx were still *completely* painless that I'd best pack my bag & organise a few things. I am aware that some womyn can lose their plug days or even weeks before labour begins but both my previous labours had begun with the "show"(& admittedly with semi-painful ctrx beforehand!)but it still seemed feasible that things might well be underway!(Oh!, oh!!, how exciting!!).

I rang N, our children's Godfather & good family friend, as we'd arranged for him to be with our boys when I went to hospital. I also rang my MIL because as DH doesn't drive she was to be our lift!. I informed them that I may well be in early labour & could they please be "on-call"! I then decided that I best get on with my evening as normal. After all I had children to feed & life goes on!!. The only anxiety I had was that because I have congential heart disease I need to take a one-off dose of antibiotics at the onset of labour & I wasn't sure if I should take it now or later? Was I really in labour??. I talked to DH & we decided to wait.

After the 1st big "show" ctrxs settled into a distinct pattern of about 5 minutes apart, but they were still just like BH with no discomfort let alone pain! I assumed though that they had to be doing something My plug was coming away & with every subsequent toliet visit, of which there were a few, it continued to come away. Also with my other labours the show saw things increase in momentum, however as I was to find out this labour was to be different!!.

Not only did things not gain momentum but the "ctrx" actually slowed & spaced to approx.11 minutes apart (argghhhh.....what was going on??!!). It was hard to not to feel discouraged, but I was busy with the family & i tried not to overly focus on it. This was the rhythm of this labour & I'd best accept it!.

Once the children were settled in bed & all was done for the night I really began to wonder what was going on though?? I was confused to say the least! I mean can one be in true labour with BH like ctrx? Would I loss my plug if it was just a false start? (I knew this was technically possible, but it wasn't like this with my other labours). Why did the ctrx start so close together & then get further apart???. Questions, questions, questions!!! *LOL*.

DH & I had a cuddle, talked & reasoned that this was something out of my control(obviously!!)& i had to just go with it!. After all the more I relaxed & accepted the rhythm of this labour the more likely things would go as nature intended & fretting would only likely slow things down anyway. So at 11.00pm-ish I encouraged DH to go to bed & decided that I would do the same.

Our youngest child I had sensed that something was up & had come out a few times for Mummy cuddles so going to bed, though it seemed a little ridiculous! Would at least help my son settle & if nothing else would be a rest for me (& I was tired).

Lying down did nothing to change the ctrx, they still came approx every 10-12 minutes, the only difference i really felt was that they were now slightly uncomfortable, but as I was also lying down this didn't surprise me with either. I rested & relaxed surprisingly well but by about 12.30am I had to get up as my body was now starting to prompt me to be upright through each ctrx & I knew it was very important to listen to this.. so up I got!!.

I have to add here that i am a *big believer* in active birth & envisaged that this labour, like my last two, would be the same(& active),but my body simply didn't seem to require it of me. Even after getting up from bed I still lay down between the ctrx!. As I said above this was out of character for me but this labour has shown me that every labour & birth really *is* different & as long as we listen to what our bodies are telling us then that is all that counts.

So there I was lying on the living room floor with the silence of the house around me & when the crtx came I would simply get onto my hands & knees & lean onto the armchair piled high with cushions & breathe through them. I was starting now to have to blow through the height of each ctrx & was beginning to have to concentrate with them, but I can still honestly say that they weren't particularly painful. More a feeling of pressure & expansion from within. I was having to remind myself though of the importance of relaxing, dropping my shoulders & keeping my jaw loose, this has really helped me in all my labours. The peace in the house was very therapeutic & I felt very in tune with the silence outside me & the process of movement within me.

At about 2am,the ctrx were still spacey but requiring more of me & I felt then that I wanted DH to be with us. Baby was still "dancing" & wriggling in between the tigthenings so I was very reassured & relaxed, but I did want DH to be there now when the ctrx came. Once DH was up (& awake!) I asked if he thought I should take the antibiotics yet? He suggested we "do" a couple of ctrx together & then see. At 2.30am I was still umming & ahhing about taking it (I mean the idea of drinking 3 grams of powdered amoxyicllin in water wasn't overly appealing!!!*L) but DH said I really should take it & I knew he was right. We also decided that it was time to ring MIL& N. The ctrx were now about 6 minutes & gaining in intensity but I was still very relaxed & "easy" with them, but as DH said later I was starting to make "that noise" through them & that was what prompted him to start taking some affirmative action!*L*!.

N arrived first & stood in the kitchen looking worried & rather useless while I blowed & groaned through a ctrx & then his look changed to one of complete dumfounded-ness when the ctrx passed & I as-normal-as-day reeled of last minute instructions & thanked him for coming so quickly!!!*L*. Honestly the look on his face was priceless!!!. I s'pose though for someone seeing a woman in labour for the 1st time it would be hard to concile this groaning, pelvis rocking woman of minutes before with the "ms-eficiency" he now faced!!.

During this time DH had been waiting on the driveway for MIL but after 2 ctrx N decided he'd best get DH (which I have to say I agreed with!!).The ctrx were suddenly getting very close!!!!. DH came back to the house & left N on "look-out", it was approx 2.55am by this stage. I decided then that I wanted to wait outside too.....I was actually worried I was going to disturb the children as I was aware I was starting to get quite vocal!, so once a ctx passed (they were now about 2-3 minutes apart) I quickly made my way outdoors.

Being outside was great!. It was so fresh & alive & though it was in the-quiet-of-the-night it felt right to be outside in this raw & primal state of strong labour (which btw had really snuck up on me!!*LOL*). Anyhow MIL arrived & DH anxious to keep things moving (mainly me i think!) suggested I get onto the backseat on my hands & knees & he'd sit next to me & steady me. I have to say driving anywhere in strong labour is bloody awful & I do NOT recommend it!. I felt every bump in the road & what is normally a very quick drive (& I s'pose still was, especially for that time of the morning!) felt like a long time to me!

Within a few minutes of the hospital my waters broke!. Oh wow!, this was the 1st labour that my waters have broken naturally.... it felt SO good & so right!.(With both my previous births I'd reached full dilation & still had intact & bulging waters & ARM was suggested. With my 1st I consented in naivety & with my 2nd I admit I actually readily agreed to it hoping it would help relieve a cervical lip I had & it did!!). I remember saying to no-one in particular, as one does when you reach that point of strong labour, everything becomes so internal, "Oh!,my waters just broke!". I remember DH said "that's great!" & MIL said "there's a towel on the backseat"...but neither held much meaning.

We pulled up at the front doors of the hospital at **3.10am**(the time is relevant!). My/our "aim" was to use one of the hospitals Birthing Suites. MIL pressed the buzzer at the front door whilest I remained firmly entrenched on my hands & knees breathing through yet another ctrx!! (they were pretty much back-to-back now!!).

The doors opened, the ctrx passed & i was up & through those doors so fast! I had a bee-line for the lifts! I thanked MIL as I passed her & urged DH to hurry up, though he was hardly dawdling!!*LOL*.

We later found out that the ladies at reception were rather panicked by my state of strong labour & rang L&D saying that someone better meet me of the lift(& just as well they did!!).By the time the lift arrived at the 3rd floor I was on my hands & knees & ready to have this baby then & there!!!!! The midwife was greeted by the lift doors opening & me saying (quite loudly)"I wanna PUSH!!" She was fantastic!. She sent DH for assistance & a wheelchair!! & then after introducing herself & asking me my name said "Harriet, I am quite happy for you to have your baby in the lift but if you think you can move, will you try?". She was so calm & gentle, I said I'd try & when the next little breather came I crawled (no less!) off the lift. By this time DH was back with a wheelchair & a few people had arrived to help & see what the commotion was all about!. Carolyn (the midwife) then said, again so calm & assuring (which really helped!),"Can you get into the wheelchair love?" Are you kidding me???!!!!! was my 1st thought, but DH was also encouraging me & looking slightly worried so with all the strength I could muster I climbed into the wheelchair, kneeling into it looking over the back & then wow!!!!..............the speed in which that wheelchair was pushed down that corridor, it was fast to say the least!!(& boy must it have looked a sight!!*LOL*).

The whole time Carolyn was running alongside me with her hand on babies head which was bulging through my pants (as of course I am still fully dressed) saying "Pant Harriet, pant love!". They got me inside the 1st door in L&D(& unfortunately not a Birthing suite),pulled my pants & knickers down & Finlay was BORN!!!.

It was 3.17am.*SEVEN* minutes after arriving at the front doors of the hospital!!!!!*LOL*.

DH walked in less than 2 paces behind to see his daughter wriggling in Carolyns hands!!!!. All I could say (& very loudly too!) was "Oh MY GOD, Oh my God!!!!".

I simply couldn't believe that she was born, it was SO quick & virtually painless & she was here, SHE WAS HERE!!!!!!. (What happened to transistion!!??...when did that happen!!? *L*).

Every time I think of her birth & my labour I smile. I am so blessed to have had such a wonderful & simple labour & birth. Oh! & how was this for wishful thinking!!!, just after Finlay was born I asked, "What sex is *she*??"....duh!!!...they all laughed & said "She is a *she*!!!". I couldn't believe it!!..what JOY!.I asked(of course)is she okay? & Carolyn said "honey she is perfect!"...Oh what RELIEF!! & what JOY!!.LIFE IS GOOD, GOOD,GOOD!! .

Throughout all this I was still kneeling in the wheelchair & I obviously wanted desperately to get out & hold my baby! I was helped onto the bed & handed my beautiful daughter (all of this taking less than a minute or two)but it felt like eons!. It was then that Carolyn said "You were both very lucky Harriet". I looked up with surprise & Carolyn was standing there showing me Finlay's end of the umbilical cord....it had a True knot!.

Right then & there I "knew". At last I understood the "feeling" I'd had throughout the pregnancy. I understood why I'd been guided to "breathe deeply", why this had seemed so appropriate & why I'd been guided to asked for an oxygen rich labour.

It just explained so much.

Why I'd worried about her movements inside me.

Why I felt so much reassurance when DH & I discovered that he could hear her heartbeat through my tummy.

Why I am sure that I had the labour I did. With the ctrx so spaced(until those last 30 minutes).It was to give her as much oxygen & "breathing-time" as possible. It also explained why I'd felt her move throughout the labour & why I'd felt the need to labour so quietly & not be active, it was all to ensure she was okay. I had "listened" & i had been rewarded with my precious & healthy baby. THANKS BE GIVEN!!.

I went on to deliver my placenta naturally(another 1st for me).With my other births I'd had the syntocin (sp??). I hadn't realized how important & "right" this would feel, the natural delivery of my placenta & for this reason I found it very empowering. So in between Finlay suckling & staring with large, clear & such alert slate-blue eyes at DH & I, my uterus contracted & the soft fullness of the placenta left me. It was all so natural & such a completely unfettered birth!, just as it should be!.

Everything had been by the rhythm of nature & maybe even more more importantly the way in which nature had intended!.

I had actually had a birthplan & as Carolyn later commented on the only request that wasn't fufilled was the fact that the cord was cut straight away & not left, as I'd requested, 'til it stopped pulsating. However it was cut in part because I was in the wheelchair & it was going to be very hard for me to hold Finaly without cutting it & maybe because of the True knot?? (of this I'm not sure?).

Anyhow there it is!....my fantastic 3rd birth!!. Finaly Margaret!. Born at 3.17am.May 24th 2000.9 & 9 on her apgars(for what that is worth!?*L*).7lbs 8.5ozs(3410grams).35cm HC(almost 14 inches) & 49cm long(19 & a bit inches).

There really is so much more I could tell you, but this has already got so long!!. Suffice to say though that I really do feel very blessed that I have such wonderful labours & births! & of course beautiful & healthy children as the end result!!!!!. THANKS BE GIVEN!!!!!! (& thank you to you too if you've read this far!!*L*)