PCOS

cultivated by community
for MotherSpirit

I am only about 5 mos PG but already I am getting the first signs of colostrum!!! (Or at least there is something leaking ever so slightly from my breasts where there never was before.) And my breasts are still sore - that never really went away after the first trimester - and continue to grow. So why is this such good news, and why am I sharing such personal details about my breasts of all things?

Logan did not get the full benefits of breastmilk from me, ever. He had *some* milk for the first two months, but I had some serious supply problems. Some of the supply problems were I'm sure due to poor BFing advice, no doubt! But I also had some more obvious problems...my milk didn't come in until 8 days pp, and even once it did Logan continued to be dehydrated and lethargic despite the fact that he was being exclusively breastfed at that time. I had literally NO breast changes during pregnancy - no soreness, no swelling, and definitely no growth. After I had him, I had no leaking, did not feel letdowns, never once felt remotely engorged (though I know those are not necessarily reliable signs of adequate supply). My doctor at the time blamed my difficulties with BFing on the hormone imbalance resulting from my PCOS (supposedly some womyn with PCOS have trouble BFing but not all - I signed up to participate in a study on this with Dr. Hale). I weaned Logan completely at 2 months but he started comfort nursing again somewhere around 18 mos. I never produced milk again though. So I have focused all my energy and meditation and prayers on the goal of having no supply problems whatsoever for this baby. I have envisioned successful nursing with plentiful milk. The fact that I have such an abundance of breast changes AND the very early signs of milk production already is a reassurance, and for it I am very grateful!

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